A-Rod is a roided-up, money-grabbing fraud…

but if I had the choice to kick one Yankee swiftly in the pills, it would Mark Texeria.

How to Loose a Guy in Ten Days, Raising Helen, Yankee Victories…

Everything Kate Hudson is in sucks.

So I’m trying to win a contest…

…which would put me in complete opposition to my beloved Brewers, who never win anything.

BUT, if you want a shot at some sweet A&G prizes, check this out…

http://cardcache.blogspot.com/2009/08/2009-allen-ginter-giveaway-complete.html

Worst Brewers Card Ever – Contestant #2

Kaboom! It’s back!

Today’s offender: 2000 Topps Finest Jeromy Burnitz #12

So, you want to collect the 2000 Finest Brewers team set? Well, you’re looking at it. And an ugly team set it is. Now, it isn’t impossible to make a good-looking Jeromy Burnitz card, you can see that this one doesn’t really focus on his mug, but there is plenty else to ug things up. From what I can gather, Jeromy was playing the outfield one day when he managed to slip into a black hole (they were probably playing in Pittsburgh at the time). Upon disappearing into a brilliant blip of pure white light, Jeromy was transported through timespace into a vacuum in which baseballs were huge and digital and matter existed in seven demensions. Jeromy managed to keep his cool, and despite the fact that his blood was beginning to freeze, still tried to make the throw home. The throw bounced off a piece of molten cobalt and was sucked into a worm hole, which deposited it back in Pittsburgh, right in the mitt of Robinson Cancel, who made the tag to get Al Martin and end the inning.

Counting to Eight with Sammy Sosa

Today’s post is brought to you by the number 8. As in eight straight losses for the Chicago Cubs. This is such delightful news, I must admit I’m having a little trouble comprehending it. So, I have created a handy illustration.

Each former Cub hero who is a complete disgrace to the game, will never make the Hall of Fame, and speaks English much better than he lets on represents ONE Chicago Cubs loss:

Or, you can just think of it as two games longer than their current Playoff game losing streak.

Worst Brewers Card Ever – Contestant #1

Another question I’d like to solve here at YvM is which, of every one ever printed, is the WORST Brewers card of all-time. It is such a pressing issue, I will leave the redundancy of “ever printed” and “all-time.” Now, it might be easy to just issue a blanket proclamation of “every Matt Stairs card ever,” but I think it might be fun to take our time on this.

First up: 2008 Topps Bill Hall #517

So where to start? I really hate the 2008 Topps design. It is completely lazy. I like the idea with the team names, but there is too much dead space on the cards. And the drop-down Topps logo eats into the photos. They could have put it anywhere but the middle and it would have been ok, but right in the middle and it cuts down on the size of the subject in the photo. Which brings us to the photo… which is NOT Bill Hall. It is Rickie Weeks, who does play the infield for the Brewers and is black, but aside from that, doesn’t bear much in the way of Bill Hall. So Topps gets lazy on the design and lazy on the picture and it lands them here. I would have like to have seen it corrected, but then it would wreak of conspiracy. At least they managed to spell his name corectly.

Breaking Bad “Meth-orabilia” Card

The Big Lebowski cards all looked like so much fun…

Get it? It’s a card that would have a chuck of methamphetamine in it. Pretty zany eh? What would the Beckett be on something like this? It’s straight bananas, let me tell you. And this is the even rarer error version, where some idiot misspelled “MethorAbilia.” I roll old school, and than means using MS Paint, and that means not being able to edit words after you type ‘em. At least not as far as I can tell.

Anyway, I love the show. The season finale is next Sunday and I cannot wait. And yeah, I know, the crystal should be blue to stay true to the show, but I pulled a Richard McWilliam and will only certify that this IS meth, not meth cooked by the induvidual pictured on the card. If you came to that conclusion, you did so on your own.

I would also like to nominate this for worst user-made card of 2009, should such an award be created.

Yount vs. Molitor Round 2 – 1991 Upper Deck

Well, so to get back to what I started a few months ago…

The Product: 1991 Upper Deck. One of the finer entries of the era of letting-the-presses-roll. Excellent color and sharp design. I remember this set as being what I would get when my mom said I could pick out a pack of cards at the grocery store. If it was her 79 cents, I went top shelf, when it was my 50, I went for Topps.

Molitor: #324. I like the photo here, quite a bit. It lists him as a second baseman, and here he is playing second. Indian Chris James  if bearing down on him in front of what looks to be a good-sized crowd at old County Stadium.  He’s showing some nice range and has a little dirt on the leg, always an indicator of Molly in good form.

Yount: #344. What is with pictures of Robin sitting on the ground and grinning? My previous YvMshowed him in a very similar pose. The man played for twenty years, had over 10,000 at bats and they cannot find photographic proof of it? It is much nicer than the ‘90 Topps card, but that isn’t saying much. Plus, that foot over his left shoulder makes you wondering if Chuck Norris isn’t about make good on one of his internet legends.

Verdict: Molly in a walk. I mean, they show him playing second base and they show Robin getting to second base with himself. That puts Molitor at a two-zip advantage over Robin.

CONTEST!!! Bump plus a Jim Gantner Mystery….

So it seems every time I am near giving up on the blog thang, I get a shout-out from somewhere and feel compelled to get back to it. Today, it comes courtesy of my favorite addict, the Cardboard Junkie. So, here we go again. I promise a new Yount v. Molitor real soon, and hopefully a bunch of other neat-o stuff too.

For now though, how’s about this?

Ok, so we have a nice looking ‘92 Stadium Clubber of Jimmy Gantner, the pride of Eden, Wisconsin. Gumby is scurrying back to first base, lest Cecil Fielder catch him napping. I will forgo the obvious links to the current Brewers and focus on that little man in the background.

 

So who is this? He seems to be wearing a Brewers bp jersey, Dockers, and a Supercuts give-away cap. WTF? He is not wearing a glove and is too stationary to be a baserunner. A quick check of baseball-reference.com tells us this photo was likely taken May  27, 1991. The Tigers bested the Brewers 15-9 in 14 innings. A little 7-run hiccup by the normally steady Chuck Crim was the difference.

So who is that dressed like my Uncle Donny? Wager a guess and a prize might be in order…

Hi, I’m Gary Sheffield…

Hi, I’m Gary Sheffield. I’m a total assrod. I cheated at baseball. I pissed and moaned and purposely played poorly because I didn’t like playing in Milwaukee. After they traded me, I stopped played bad on purpose, but kept pissing and moaning. I blamed all my problems on racism. I just hit my 500th home run and acted like I was not aware that it doesn’t mean anything. I will blame racism when I don’t make the Hall of Fame. Oh, and what’s more, I totally suck ass for real. By the way, I suck hard core.

I’m Gary Sheffield.

Wild Card Banner to grace Miller Park

I expected as much, but it is now official… The Brewers will honor their2008 Wild Card team with a banner at Miller Park that will make the 1982 AL Champs sign a little less lonely. This is pretty exciting, giving the club a genuine badge of honor that will finally shed the dead weight of that decade and a half of futility. I hope they hold some kind of unveiling ceremony, perhaps when the Marlins are in town, so that Met-killer Wes Helms can pull the cord. In all seriousness, I am looking forward to the Caveman’s first trip back to Miller Park this year. I would have never imagined any scenario in which he would have gotten a standing O in Milwaukee, but he deserves it this year. If it were up to me, though, there would be two banners up. One for the Wild Card, and one that just said “2008 Brewers – one day longer than the Cubs.”